There’s no denying it – your 20s can be an incredibly exciting yet daunting time. For many of us, it’s the first opportunity to truly chart our own course after years of following the predetermined educational path. Gone are the days of knowing exactly what comes next. Instead, we’re faced with the terrifying, yet thrilling prospect of designing our own roadmap to success.
As a Peak Millennial, I grew up in the height of girlboss culture, where the corporate ladder was presented as the ultimate path to achievement. But the truth that’s taken me 10 years to learn is that you get to define what success means to you. Don’t be afraid to veer off the beaten path and explore adventures and opportunities that truly excite you. Your 20s are the perfect time to take calculated risks and pursue your passions.
I recently attended my 10 year college reunion. I reflected on what the last 10 years had brought. Here’s what I would tell my younger self:
1. Your Road Ahead is Unique To You
Unlike when you’re in school and have each step laid out in front of you, you’re now on your own, kid. You’ll look around and see your peers getting professional recognition, jobs at exciting companies, or hitting professional milestones like getting married, buying a house or having kids and it’s hard not to compare.
The secret is no one knows what they’re doing – but you do get to use this time to assess what you really value. Do you really want a fulfilling partnership with someone? Are you looking to make more money? Is the path your on worth a pivot so you can be happier and healthier? By spending time to understand and define what you value, you get to define what success looks like for you.
Doing this takes time – it takes making decisions, trying things on for size and even changing, but it also will save you a lot of heartache. Once you know what you want, you can make progress on your goals and not feel stuck and uninspired in your current circumstances. If you do anything in your 20s, defining what success looks like for you is the first step to charting your own path.
As you live (and learn), you also get to change it. In my life, major circumstances like having a kid, owning a home or a worldwide pandemic also led to major re-examinations. You’re allowed to change your priorities and they are allowed to look different from those in your peer group.
2. Know Your Worth
Just remember, just because you’re young doesn’t mean you have to accept being treated disrespectfully. It doesn’t matter if you’re new to an industry, pivoting careers, or still finding your footing – you deserve to be treated with professionalism and courtesy.
If someone is belittling or demeaning you, that’s a reflection on them, not you. Trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to escalate the situation if it’s happening repeatedly or in private settings.
In one of my first jobs, I let a situation with a superior go on like this for months until I was basically breaking down. I was regularly yelled at and belittled in front of my coworkers over things like how I made meeting notes or the order in which I CC’d people on an email. I thought I had to stick it out at a company for at least two years and was miserable every day. I ended up finding a job nine months after I started and when I put in my notice, I had multiple coworkers come up to me and say they wouldn’t have lasted a week under the same conditions.
I don’t see me lasting so long as a badge of honor – if I have learned anything from the situation is that I should have had the confidence and gumption to know that this was not a productive situation. You get to tell people how to treat you (by having boundaries) and I let myself be walked all over. Never again.
3. Find Patience in Being a Beginner
Starting something new, whether it’s a job, project, or business venture, can be challenging. It typically takes around 6 months to truly get your bearings and hit your stride. During this transition period, it’s crucial to ask questions, advocate for yourself, and build relationships.
I am a very inpatient beginner – I love to learn, but I love even more to move fast. By slowing down and reminding myself that I’m not expected to know it all from the get-go, I can pay better attention to what I need to learn and who to learn it from. This is incredibly important in a new job.
An early job of mine required me to work with network influencers in event marketing. An influencer joined us in our office before an event and coworker shared their well wishes on a recent milestone birthday. What she said next stood with me forever.
“I love getting older because I have come to realize that what I don’t know is much greater than what I do. And I get to be curious and ask questions to learn. I’m not as worried about proving myself because I realize everyone’s in the same boat.”
I suddenly felt like I could take a deep breath for the first time in months. Being a beginner was not unique AND having a favorable mindset about it was possible.
So whether you’re starting a new role or learning a new skill, remember that your career is a series of commas. You’re a beginner again and again – embracing it is the true challenge.
4. It’s Your Job to Take Care of You
At the end of the day, you’re in charge of your own well-being. Make self-care a priority by staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and avoiding unhealthy habits like doomscrolling. When you’re operating from a place of balance and vitality, you’ll be better equipped to handle any challenges that come your way.
This is particularly hard when you’re in a demanding job or dealing with personal crises. But as I’ve gotten older and had to pause many parts of my life to help heal from burnout, I have to come realize that most of what I was pushing through was not worth losing my peace (and health over). So ask yourself – will this matter in 5 years? It can help put stressors in perspective. But also seeking out professional help whether through therapy or coaching can also be beneficial in help you keep perspective.
5. When One Door Closes, Another Few Always Open
Finally, remember that losing a job or facing a setback is not the end of the world. In fact, it can be an opportunity to reassess your priorities and chart a new, more fulfilling course. As long as you’re proactive and persistent, you’ll always have options. It’s often easier to find a new job when you’re already employed, but a layoff can be a powerful catalyst for positive change.
My first layoff (just as COVID was starting) was the catalyst for going back to school for my MBA. And a few years later when I found my job shrinking, it became the kick I needed to start my own business. It had always been a dream of mine, but I had always found an excuse to stay in my comfort zone.
Your 20s are a time of immense growth and self-discovery. Embrace the uncertainty, chase your dreams, and never stop learning and evolving. The path ahead may not be clearly defined, but that’s what makes the journey so rewarding.
